©2020 Verizon Media. When my husband and I have a few minutes to ourselves free from visitors and nurses he holds me and cries. Angela dreamed of a natural, unmedicated birth. I need answers, I need help understanding, I need a hug. “I was traumatized and scared from my first birth experience, an all natural, at-home with midwife, sleepless 48-labor with transfer to the hospital + epidural; all that work accompanied by serious post-partum depression. I had just experienced a trauma, but no one sat down with me to explain what had just happened. But for Mom's who's first experience was god awful I feel they should have the option. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. “That experience left a pretty deep impression on me. Katz VL. Human Nature … In 2015, while she was a four-hour drive away from her North Carolina home on a low-key family beach vacation, her water broke. I'm a mother. Moreover, black women are three to four times more likely than their white counterparts to die during pregnancy or within one year of the end of pregnancy. I'm a mother. The nurses come in to show me and my husband how to bathe her. From the very first symptom to finally meeting your little one for the first time, there are many milestones along the way. Planning a natural birth? Experiencing a traumatic birth is a risk factor for developing postpartum depression and anxiety and it wasn't until recently that I realized I did indeed have this risk factor. I'm re-focused again on the baby. That’s what I felt my body was doing,” she describes. I didn't have a traumatic birth. I was "healthy" and after initial concern about my daughter's shoulders that turned out to be fine, she was healthy too. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. After almost 48 hours of active labor, which included the fearful realization that her baby’s heartbeat was unstable, and significant vaginal tearing due to the strain of trying not to push as the nurses located her doctor, her son was born with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. When I became pregnant with our youngest, this was my second chance to heal that emotional pain! 1993. The answers that received the greatest responses were lack or loss of control, fear for their baby’s life or health, severe physical pain, and the absence of communication or support. On a radio show I listened to recently, a perinatal psychiatrist was being interviewed about postpartum mental illness. The United States has the worst maternal mortality rates compared to other developed countries, and it’s still rising. “There are still moments where I’m like, oh my god, we got lucky,” Kseniya said, describing her birth experience as “definitely dramatic, definitely taxing, and definitely not something I want to go through again. Ours alone to carry. My son had colic and reflux and was constantly disgruntled. After delivery, parents and attendants may seem emotionally subdued or indifferent. There was no debriefing that should happen when something scary, threatening, or overwhelming happens to someone. In many cultures, birth is recognized as a potentially dangerous event. “I didn’t think I was going to get teared up talking about this,” she told Healthline, sniffling. What also happens is that in many cases our care providers have a mentality of fear around birth which is often placed on an expectant mother unbeknownst to anyone. In fact, research has shown that women who’ve had a negative birth experience are less likely to have future kids, or, if they do have more, wait longer to have another. For the next month, I had recurring nightmares of that whole process. When she went searching for answers for why she suffered this complication and if her ability to have future children was impacted, she said she felt ignored. “I was terrified into silence, barely breathing while I waited to hear my baby cry. I fall apart in his arms. Did everyone lie to me? Even though it was clear when my epidural stopped working as I went from laughing to scaring my worried-to-death family who heard my blood curdling cries through the solid soundproof door, down the hallway where they waited -- I did not have a traumatic birth. My family enters and even though they heard my screams we are all focused on the baby now, myself included. Even though the average length of time a new mother pushes her baby out is between 1 and 2 hours and I pushed for 3 hours and 20 minutes past the 3-hour mark when women usually get rushed to a C-section -- I did not have a traumatic birth. If the mother perceived her childbirth experience to be traumatic no matter what the circumstances, then she experienced a traumatic birth. Last year, a study in the Netherlands attempted to quantify these experiences. My guy's mom and grandmom are both pushing this on me really severly. Two trends in middle class birth in the United States. “I felt extremely overwhelmed almost all the time. “It’s not really the event itself. But I'm still shaking, still shocked, still so angry that what just happened, happened. I know we got lucky with it this time, but I don’t think we’ll get that lucky again.”. I don't want to bring down the joyous mood that is felt all around the maternity ward on this day. Kimberly Lawson is a former altweekly newspaper editor turned freelance writer based in Georgia. When she’s not taking her toddler on new adventures, she’s writing poetry, practicing yoga, and experimenting in the kitchen. “We’re talking to the nurse after and she’s like, ‘You’re really lucky… Both of you could have died,’” she told Healthline. It devastated me so much I couldn't get past the shock when the nurses laid my baby's beautifully plump body across my chest, heart racing, sweat dripping from my brow. 1993. “He was a disturbing shade of blue,” Davila said. Did everyone lie to me? This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. It was devastating. Co-founder of Moms Mental Health Initiative. Although doctors at the nearby hospital worried the baby girl still needed more time for her lungs to develop, they ordered an emergency C-section when she went into distress. Follow her on Twitter. It took the 31 year old and her husband two years to conceive their first child. “I didn’t feel pain, I just felt the pressure,” she recalls. She is 38 weeks pregnant with her second child. The doctor who had to scream at me to keep pushing as she used every ounce of her strength and agility to get my baby out of me comes to check on me. Im not saying Im going to. My family enters and even though they heard my screams we are all focused on the baby now, myself included. One study actually determined that “all aspects of women’s health are endangered due to traumatic childbirth.” In some cases, that trauma could lead to death.

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